It’s been 13 months, when I left Australia. Moving there had been one of the biggest dreams I ever had, and actually making the final decision to go demanded a massive amount of courage and a bit of madness too. I had just received a permanent job contract after graduation, moved to a new city for my job and started my steady and respectable life as an adult. Who would be so crazy to leave at this moment, buy a one-way-ticket to the other side of the world, sleep at hostels and travel only with her backpack? Who would swap a good job at a bank to a heavy work on a rural vegetable farm with a minimum wage? Anyway, I did it, and Australia was everything and more than I could ever have imagined.
I believe that leaving to Australia was the first big side step from the path I had been walking for a long time. From the moment I had made my decision to move, my life had never been the same. One by one I left my old roles, beliefs, demands and pieces of my identity behind. I questioned my beliefs regarding career, success, relationships and happiness. I realised that a big paycheck and nice titles won’t ever bring me true happiness, not at least on their own. What makes me happy is to do stuff that I enjoy doing, experience new things, develop myself and be free. Australia gave me such a big mental freedom, and even after moving away, I have tried my hardest to retain that freedom of the mind. I tell myself constantly that I don’t have to do anything, be anything, go back to living the life according to the common norms. Actually there are only very few things you have to do, and a great deal of things that are possible to do. You just have to look and see all the possibilities.
I fell in love with Australia, so should I go back? Shouldn’t I try to get a student visa now, and work my hardest to catch a chance to get a permanent residency one day? Why would I not want to go to the land of my dreams? Australia is quite of a paradise after all!
I have asked myself several times that should I just ditch Malta and try to go back to Australia. But every time a voice inside me gives me the same answer. I could return to Australia for a holiday but not to stay for a longer time. I don’t believe in destiny or any kind of higher guidance, but I would still say that going to Australia served a purpose in my life, and the country has now done its share. Australia tore me from my old life and gave me the needed push to live a life of my dreams. It broke down and tore apart so I could empower and build something new.
Thus, I believe that returning to Australia would not help me anymore to grow to the direction I want to grow. So, I want to continue following the inner voice that is saying to move forward towards new adventures. This time the voice is saying that my place is somewhere else than in Australia. Maybe I will return to there one day, but not in the near future. Never say never, but not now.
Australia can wait.